I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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