dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
