This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
