His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
