Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
