I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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