There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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