Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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