i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
