I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
