So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
