u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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