We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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