She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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