well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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