And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
