He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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