So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize