I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
