I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
