So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
