Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
