I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
COCAINE IS GR8
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
