It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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