My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just want to make out with him forever
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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