I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
