who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
