All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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