I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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