Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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