You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize