Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
