I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
