fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
