I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
