Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Couch. On fire.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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