One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
