Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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