So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It's blow job season.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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