pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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