On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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