have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
