What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
