yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize