i barfeds in our rink
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
