just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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