Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
