We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
