just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
