What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
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drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
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I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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