just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Can you bring me the toilet please
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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