If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
