recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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