No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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