Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize