Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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