Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
