i don't plan on having that self control this summer
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
