ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
