i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
