all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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