Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
