YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
