I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
