Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
