New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize