Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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