ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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