If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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