I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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