STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
